Before I get started. I dedicate this story of my son Ronny, to my granddaughter Kelly Nicole who I Love very dearly. God Bless you my sweet little Kelly.
I am a very happy person today. Today I get to find out the sex of my baby. My fiancee` is pregnant again.. Since I have lost my first child ,a little boy two years ago in 2002, he was stillborn, Nickolas Rest in Piece my little soul. I feel really blessed and exited and anxious today. My fiancee` is a little bit scared about being pregnant. She is afraid we might have problems with this one too. But what are the chances of this happening again right?. Well, I'm looking forward to the whole nine month. So, I took my baby I call her baby to the doctor so we could find out what the baby's sex is. As we were waiting in the waiting room I kept thinking is it a boy or a girl . The nurse finally motioned us to come into the room. My Baby was laying on the table to find out. The doctor used the ultrasound and I could hear the heartbeat. Well, I thought can she see, I want to know. I asked well doctor, can you see? and tell us, if it's a boy or a girl? But the doctor just shook his head. Oh! What! the baby moved around so much, she couldn't tell, No Way!...Come one lady you know!, I know you know, you just don"t want to tell us right. No she said I really can't see. Oh! we were sooo disappointed at that moment, wait a minute try again, I thought, but she said maybe the next time, maybe we can find out then.
So my Baby and I went home with the ultrasound pictures in our hands. I dropped my baby off at home and went to see my mom. I walked into the House and said hey mom look, I got some ultrasound pictures to show you. Mom said with a smile, lets see, OK, I showed mom where the head is, legs are and the whole body. When we as people look at those pictures it is real hard to tell that those pointers supposed to point at body parts. Mom was happy anyway and so was I. Happily I went back home. I only lived a few houses down the street from my mom and dads house.
As I went home I went inside just to find my Baby asleep, she layed down for a short nap. I felt a little bit lonely and started to call some friends over. I had to share my joyues pictures. In the meantime it had gotten dark outside. Through the course of the evening, I visited with some of my friends and my sister, brother-in law and nephew. Everybody left early in the evening. I started to make something to eat. When it was almost ready, I woke my fiancee` up to eat. But she didn't want to get up. I was a little bit upset, after all I made something good to eat and she wasn't hungry. I was so mad, when I cut the steak the plate slipped and fell to the floor and broke. Now look at the mess I created. Nevertheless I cleaned up the mess.The steak did not fall. Then I ate all by myself.
In the meantime I had taken some pills, which wasn't a good move on my part, because of those pills every body's lives changed including mine. It is midnight and I am feeling a little bit sleepy. I started to play some video games with my fiancee`'s brother, he spent the night in our apartment. Oh, I forgot earlier I went back to moms house to get some potatoes vegetables and stuffing of of moms for my meal. my baby's little brother accompanied me home. While I was their mom asked me how I felt, because I guess I looked real goofed up to mom. Well, we exchanged some words hugged and said goodbye. I said "I love you MOM", call you tomorrow, because we supposed to go to Red ,White and Boom . Mom never went and dad never cared to go, so I was going to take mom this year.
Well, off we went back home . It was really warm outside tonight, I believe it was like seventy two degrees outside at 11o,clock in the evening. I felt sick. I felt so sick that I had to lay on the concrete floor on my front porch, I layed their with no shirt only shorts, socks and shoes on. Oh Boy, Was I feeling sick my whole body felt like it was on fire,I sweat and sweat. All this happened before I ate. After I went back inside, I got real sleepy. As I layed their on the carpet in my living room I became powerless in my arms and legs, they felt real heavy. I could not move. I thought if I sleep I will sleep it off. My breathing became shallow and my body started to feel cold. The only thing I could do is think or dream. I guess at some point I drifted off to sleep.
"I didn't kill myself this was an accident ". I wasn't a Junkie. I went to sleep and stayed asleep forever. My heart stopped beating and I stopped breathing. I died that night. JULY 02 2004.
Well, I never found out what the sex of my baby was. On December 06th 2004 My Baby gave birth to her baby girl. And today she is 6 years old.I am so sorry I will never get to meet ,hold and love her, and tell her that daddy loves her.
Poem..........Tomorrow We chose this poem for the funeral.
When Tomorrow starts without me, And I'm not here to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes, All filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry. The way you did today
While thinking of the many things, We didn't get to say.
I know how much you Love me, As much as I Love you.
And each time you think of me
I know you miss me too, So when tomorrow starts with out me,
Don't think we're far apart, For every time you think of me
I'm right here in your heart.
I have an update to this real story.
Today is January the 14th 2011. I am so sorry to report to you that my then sons fiancee` ,which had gotten married in the meantime, followed my sons footsteps.
She overdosed like my son did. They couldn't save her.
She passed away in the Er-Room.
She was only 24 herself 2 months from being 25 ,
Now my little granddaughter has no mommy or daddy. But we'll all be glad to pitch in and help raise her. My son Rests in Piece now.
With his Girl and Baby Boy
Gabriele Bales
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